My personal photography project, after over a year of planning is finally starting. I’m thrilled and excited, but at the same time I feel the burden of responsibility as the project is aiming at capturing people’s feelings and states of mind rather than conventional beauty.
I asked my friend Alix to be my first subject. I wanted him to be alone with me, no distraction and no external threat so we could explore what otherwise would have been hidden deeply, unreachable and unnoticeable by others.
None of us knew exactly what was happening, sure I set up my cameras and lights, but that awkward silence, broken only by the sound of the camera shutter and the popping sound of the flash was a blessing. That silence created intimacy, I let him move around and relax, guided and directed his hands and poses from time to time without staging too much. I want this experience to be as genuine as it could. We shoot for a couple of hours with no idea of how the pictures where looking, just concentrating on Alix, exploring his scars, hands, eyes and movements to uncover his inner states of mind.
For a split second you can grasp a sense of fragility in his eyes, gone in a blink and quickly covered by the friendly and fearless look that life imposed us to wear.
This was just the tip of the iceberg and I will meet Alix to continue our photography journey. Among him others will help me explore issues like loneliness, depression, gender identity, self arming and much more. I know this might sound overwhelming and I will try to split in smaller projects to make sure I can produce a meaningful body of work.
If you want to know more about Alix and his transition check out his website.
PS. I’m running out of Fujifilm Neopan 400 120! I have less than 10 rolls right now so if you have a batch at home or you know another film that has similar look get in touch!